Tuesday, May 11, 2010

just call me Waterworks Willy...


My husband, Jeffrey, is a high school librarian. He started his education career as an English teacher and still teaches two English classes along with his full time library responsibilities. Last night was the graduation of his final class of journalism students. We weren't two minutes into the program before I started crying.
Pomp and Circumstance hadn't yet begun when my tears started. I looked over at Sloane and did some quick math. In just ten years Sloane will be the teenager in a shiny polyester gown and great shoes. She'll be one of the girls who are so excited they fairly wiggle. She'll be one of the slightly nauseous teens who can't wait for their future, but are a bit sad to be leaving all this carefree fun behind.

And me? I'll be one of the moms trying desperately to swallow around the enormous lump in my throat. I'll be one of the annoying parents with a camera in her face and loud cheers each time I hear her name. I'll be the one with no mascara so that I don't end up looking like a raccoon. I'll be one of the adults who sit there and know deep down that things will never be the same again.

I hope I will also be one of those parents who know that all of this really is OK. I hope I remember that things never have stayed the same. I hope I think back to this year and remember how many times I cried because Sloane is leaving second grade; my grade. She was born my first year of teaching, and next year she'll be older than my own students. I hope that I recall the way that every day, every school year has been new and different. The way that each year brings with it new heartaches and challenges; new successes and triumphs. I hope I remember, bone deep, that each day, every single day is such a gift. Every day with my sweet girl is nothing less than a miracle.

Because just now?

Just now I am old enough to know that ten years go by so quickly.
Ten years is no time at all.

37 comments:

Yiota said...

You're right. Time flies! My son is five and I feel he was born yesterday!
Beautiful words Relyn.

Rita said...

Wow! Powerful words. You are so right, time flies and becomes memories. It seems no time since mine were born and yet they have children of their own now. As they visited this weekend, I realized how time flies for Jacob will be four next month and it seemed he was only born yesterday. I show him a picture of his dad as a baby and he said, "my daddy is big, he's not a baby." I told Jacob that he once was a baby. Such a short time, yet long ago!

ELK said...

so true Relyn..i have two this month..daughter graduating from high school AND one from college (future jr high English teacher)

Debbie said...

Oh just wait my friend.....just wait until college graduation. Talk about water works!!

spread your wings said...

yes it does go by so quickly. I can't believe T will soon be graduating college.

My Castle in Spain said...

Oh..you make me teary eyed..you're so right, every day must be treasured...
Happy day, dear Relyn!

Gigi said...

YES! I am usually a puddle of tears at graduations, wedding, etc., too, Relyn. And, yes, ten years flies right by without a pause. I don't have kids, but I feel the very same way about my nieces and nephews, some of who are on the verge of being teenagers! How did this happen??!!

Hope you're well, sweetheart. xoxo

beth said...

ten years really is nothing....you are so wise !

Andrea said...

The time slips by so fast..I don't know where it goes...it is a great reminder to cherish absolutely each moment.
Hugs,
andrea

meandering pearl said...

time, its really precious!!! hope you had a wonderful mother's day!!! such loveliness

Teresa O said...

Oh quickly they change. One minute they're navigating elementary, the next they're off to college and life. And what wonderful changes and gifts capture the heart along the way. Lovely post, Relyn.

Jennifer Richardson said...

Mother-love is so deep and fierce, those lumps never quite get swallowed. I think they just swell, leaving new stretch marks on our hearts. Then fresh life is born from those stretchy seasons. I imagine yours will be a beauty!

Derrick said...

Pass the tissues, somebody!!

Meri said...

Oh, it goes by in the beat of a heart, but it's just as wonderful at every stage. Two years ago today, I watched as my son was transformed into a father. Just this weekend, I heard my younger son say, "When we get married. . ." to his college sweetie. It's all magical, if you open yourself to the magic.

Sarah said...

Oh now you have brought a tear to my eye too Relyn! You are right, time does fly, but it will be fine don't worry!
I also cry at any kind of celebration of the end of something-and usually within the first five minutes too!

Jeanne said...

Treasure every single moment
Love you

Suz said...

It's the writer in you
intuned with everything
you are wise
Ten years...psst...gone
I like the fact that you saw Sloane in great shoes!
again..the writer's details

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

My daughter was Valedictorian, so I not only had to get through graduation...I had to listen to her give a speech. It feels as if that happened just last year, but it was 2003. We are just now 3 years past college graduation, how is it possible? You will get through it and if you are lucky, as I am, your daughter will grow into not only your child, but also your friend. I have a feeling it will work that way for you:)

Oh, and the day you drop them off at college...that is the hard day, take lots of chocolate and plan to spend at least 2 days in bed!

Bee said...

Hey, I blubbed when Rory Gilmore (fictional character!) graduated from high school.

That picture of your daughter -- all wide eyes and innocent freckled cheeks -- is just precious. Yes, time passes so quickly . . . but I KNOW you will savor the moments AND keep good records (written and photographic).

Heart2Heart said...

Relyn,

I'll be doing that next year as my oldest will be graduating. Oh what a time that will be. However for now, I will just enjoy the time we have together and make sure she has all the tools she will need to make it in this world.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Angie Muresan said...

Oh, I know what you mean. My son is just 6 years away and I already am preparing myself for that time. It's tough, isn't it? The gates to their grown-up selves open on that day, and all we can do as parents is love them and pray for the best.

P.S. Sloan is gorgeous! I can just imagine her 10 years from now.

Marilyn said...

10 years does go by so swiftly. Savor each moment and know that even when she is all grown up she will still be your little girl, but she will also become a best friend.

TheEccentricLady said...

These days do go by fast but let me assure you the days to come are just as wonderful. I sent my 19 year old daughter off to college in Chicago 2 years ago. I was so excited for her to experience living in an apartment in a big city. She has adjusted wonderfully and is thriving at fashion design school! It is so rewarding to watch them mature. I am so proud of her!

Maithri said...

Your love, as it always does, resonates deep within me, like the soothing strains of a half remembered melody,

Warmest love to you beautiful friend,

M

Joy said...

Oh so very, very true! I often feel like my grandmother when I start lamenting how fast time flies - but it truly does!

Oliag said...

My girls are 32 and 27...when they were 10 and 5 I could not imagine how quickly these years would go by...and they continue to go faster and faster...I can only try to slow them down by enjoying every moment I can with them...

Julia Christie said...

It does fly doesn't it. I treasure each day and each moment with my little ones because I have adult children too and I know how fleeting is this thing called 'Life'.

Sloane sounds like a sweet little thing and how fun it will be for her to look back and read about herself and you when she is older.

Smiles!

Mrs. E said...

You're so right! Don't blink-- it goes in a flash!

emmah said...

ahhhh...
i feel this deep in my bones.

as i struggle with teenage arguments,
with wondering if i'm right
or wrong,
as i try to protect,
as i try to let go,
as i try to hold on.

sigh.

i get this.

gkgirl said...

that post from emmah
was ironically
from me.
haha.

i forgot that she was signed in,
not me.

:O)

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

your words make us remember the little things we forget that are really big things; and the big things are sometimes best being made small stuff...

Patti said...

Beautiful words... and so very true! I cry unashamedly over every lots of things- as Molly is the only and I can only go through things once so I make sure I soak up every ounce of emotion I can. Stop by my site for a similar post. Have a wonderful day Relyn!

Deborah Carr said...

You write so beautifully and share your heart so openly and honestly. You and your husband have such gifts to share with your family and the world (I love librarians!). And I imagine that you are just beginning to see all that Sloane will have to give.

I expect the bittersweet part is knowing the letting go is the only way to let her grow.

Gayle said...

You are so right. 10 years will go by so quickly. My oldest will be a senior next year. How did this happen so fast?!

Jeanie said...

Big lump. I know what you mean -- that's how I felt when Greg graduated from college this past weekend! It's hard to believe when they are as young as Sloane that they'll ever get there -- but she will, too!

Tracy said...

That is so true and why we have to make the most of them!

Jaime said...

It's so funny..I have never met Sloane, but I can SO picture her. Right now, and on her graduation day. I can feel the excitement coarsing through her. I can picture it so vividly. And I can see you, heart as big as a mountain, so proud of her, so mixed with emotion on that day.
Yes, time flies...but you, dear Relyn, know how to savour every moment and make it important.

Oldies, but Goodies